Review: Real Friends – Composure

It’s been just over two years since Real Friends came out with a full-length album, and while this isn’t an abnormally long period, I held firm belief that the band was in the process of creating their best work yet. It turns out, I wasn’t wrong. Composure is one of the best releases you’ll hear this year and is built as a story about the impact mental illness has on our relationships and our lives.

This is an album with a title that is vitally important to the context of the record. The very concept of composure itself is centrally woven through every song on the album, creating a continuity and arc that is impossible to ignore and a story that is liable to hit home for nearly everyone who listens.

You can buy or stream Composure on Apple Music.

As the album kicks off with “Me First”, there’s no composure present. Vocalist Dan Lambton bares it all, singing, “Why don’t you put me first for once / And spare me the bad news / Why don’t you put me first for once / We might need to slow down / Cuz’ I’m not going anywhere”. If you’ve ever been in a place where you don’t feel appreciated, it’s difficult to hold back your frustration once you reach your limit. Straightforward and biting, the character has voiced his concerns and now he can focus on working through it.

The bridge in “Stand Steady” is a continuation of the feelings in the first track. “Here I am / Showing every worry / To the world”, is a short but telling phrase that shows he’s still not cool with what’s going on. However, he’s decided to work on being the stronger person in the situation.

The story truly unfolds in “From the Outside”, which was a very fitting single for the band to release in anticipation for this album. Here we find that the person he’s struggling with is himself. Lambton has often spoken of struggling with bipolar disorder, and this song talks about his prescriptions and his constant need to save face. He’s in the public eye and has an influence. This idea continues on in the next song, “Smiling On the Surface”.

I took “Hear What You Want” to be referencing either a relationship with someone else or another way that he’s talking about himself. “I can’t leave you / You can’t leave me”, could refer to a toxic relationship or it could be talking about his mental illness. You can’t always get rid of what’s going on in your thoughts, and by hearing what you want, Lambton could be saying that the intrusive thoughts are a lot louder than he wishes they’d be, and even though one part of him knows he should ignore it, he can’t.

The next song, “Unconditional Love”, led me to believe that the past song is about a relationship. “You let me down / But you never let me go”, is saying that the relationship wasn’t beneficial, but they’re still trying to make it work despite knowing that it’s only a matter of time before things really go south. The last line of the song is “So let me go”, making clear that our character knows that what’s best for his mental health is to drop things that aren’t fulfilling and healthy.

On the title track, Lambton sings, “I’m reclaiming my composure”. He’s learning how to work through some of the tougher moments in his life. The second verse is where a lot of the darker ideas reside, quite literally. “I never told anyone / But the truth is I see / The shadow hanging over me”. I think this song is about not keeping cool, but losing it. He’s trying his absolute best to keep up with the meds and the preventative measures, but he still feels off.

The biggest thing about mental illness is how it makes you feel closed off from the rest of the world. Being in a crowded room and feeling like you’re the only one there. Doing something you love to do or being with people you love and, right in the middle of it, thinking to yourself that you don’t want to be there anymore.

“Get By” carries on the theme from “Hear What You Want” and “Unconditional Love”. This is the part of the story where our character decides to do something about the weight of this relationship. He breaks it off. An important note here is that it’s never implied that it’s any kind of romantic relationship. Mental illness messes up all kinds of friendships and family ties that, when they fall through, have that emotional attachment that is hard to get over.

A lot of pop punk is based on dating and breaking up (even some old Real Friends songs), but I feel like this album is trying to strike a different chord. The band’s character here is in a tough spot with someone, but not necessarily who we think. I think it’s important to remember that the impact of mental illness isn’t just something to romanticize, but it’s something that tears people apart. It’s hard to look back on your life and replay the conversations where something wasn’t quite over, but being able to notice signs that things weren’t right. Hindsight is 20/20.

The second-to-last track on Composure is “Ripcord”. In the vein of “Get By”, we see this situation from the opposite perspective, looking purely at the other side of this conflict. The other party feels like the character is using them for their support and only calls out when it’s convenient.

This is another facet of mental illness people don’t really talk about. It’s true that someone with a mental illness often fails to see past their struggle and watch the impact it’s having on others around them. Sometimes, though, it’s a protective measure for the person themselves. If they’re not getting the support they need from those around them, their last resort can be just focusing on making themselves able to cope and function. This isn’t an excuse, it’s a fact. So yeah, maybe in “Ripcord” other people in the character’s life are having trouble dealing with the way things are going, but our character himself is also having trouble.

The album ends with “Take a Hint”, where things turn around and settle down. Dan sings, “I’m learning to take a hint / Stay convinced / We’ll see the other side”. Despite the toll this whole ordeal has taken on our character, he’s still willing to find the optimism and works hard to stay in the place of positivity.

You may notice that I only talked about the lyrical merits of Real Friends’ new album Composure. I didn’t talk about how vocally dynamic it is, or how well produced it is, or how the band has matured musically. It is all of those things and more, but I think what’s important here is the message. It’s a cry for a help. It’s an explanation. It’s a warning. It’s a piece of art that highlights one of the most prevalent issues of today. It’s worth listening to not because you love the band or love pop punk, it’s worth listening to because with a little bit of effort, you might learn something.

5/5

by Nadia Paiva

kiel_hauckNadia Paiva has been a music enthusiast since she can remember. Going to shows is her main pastime. The other is being upset when she can’t go to shows. This is her first official venture into writing about music. You can follow her on Twitter.

10 Real Friends Songs to Blast While Awaiting Their New Album

Like many punk fans, I’m eagerly awaiting the latest release from Real Friends. In preparation, I’ve been revisiting a lot of old favorites.

A lot of these songs were really important to me in my late teens. I’d been dealing with a lot emotionally and somehow Dan Lambton always had just the thing I needed to hear. The emotional connection has stuck with me since, and even though I don’t listen to their latest album, The Home Inside My Head, very often, I still get the same feelings of nostalgia when I do.

Real Friends’ music is almost cathartic for me, because remembering what I was dealing with and being removed from it now puts things into a lot of perspective. Songs like “Sixteen” don’t make me as deeply upset as they used to. I’ve felt the feelings and I’ve been learning to put them aside once I’ve dealt with them.

The feelings of emotional weakness that Lambton sings about really resonated with me then and they still do. I may not be in as bad of a place as I was when I was introduced to Real Friends, but sometimes stuff still bubbles up. The difference between then and now is that I recognize it and I’m able to deal with it more swiftly before it turns into a bigger problem.

I think Real Friends have really helped me figure out that process for myself. Their latest track, “From the Outside”, hasn’t really grown on me yet, but I’m getting there. I identify with a lot of the lyrics in the track, which gives me high hopes for their new album. A big trend in pop punk lately seems to be taking a lighter approach to the darker themes that are usually dealt with. Strangely enough, I’ve found myself in a place where I’m also taking a lighter approach to my struggles.

I’m excited to join Real Friends in their latest journey. I’m hoping to catch their set at Warped Tour this year and I have a feeling it will be a very emotional show for me, much in the way Neck Deep and The Wonder Years have been. There’s something strange about growing up with bands, and one of the best examples of that in my life is Real Friends.

Without further ado, here are my favorite songs by the band. I think it’s a great group of songs to dive into if you’ve never really gotten into them.

1. Skin Deep” from the Put Yourself Back Together EP

2. “Colder Quicker” from The Home Inside My Head

3. “Late Nights In My Car” from the Put Yourself Back Together EP

4. “Home” for Fall from the Everyone that Dragged You Here EP

5. “Sixteen” from Maybe this Place is the Same and We’re Just Changing

6. “From the Outside” from their new album due later this year

7. “I Don’t Love You Anymore” from Maybe this Place is the Same and We’re Just Changing

8. “I’ve Given Up On You” from the Put Yourself Back Together EP

9. “Floorboards” from the Everyone that Dragged You Here EP

10. “Summer” from Maybe this Place is the Same and We’re Just Changing

by Nadia Paiva

kiel_hauckNadia Paiva has been a music enthusiast since she can remember. Going to shows is her main pastime. The other is being upset when she can’t go to shows. This is her first official venture into writing about music. You can follow her on Twitter.

Review: Real Friends – The Home Inside My Head

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Real Friends has been a band that toyed with my opinion of them for several years. While their early EPs simmered with energy and the youthful nostalgia of those new to learning what life is outside of school, their debut LP, Maybe This Place Is the Same and We’re Just Changing did not resonate with me at all. I wanted to love them so badly, but I worried that they were just another flash in the scene destined to fade before they had made their mark.

You can buy The Home Inside My Head on iTunes.

You can buy The Home Inside My Head on iTunes.

The Home Inside My Head, the second album by Real Friends, not only firmly cements them as a force to be reckoned with in the pop punk genre, it may be the single most powerful emo album in the last decade.

Perhaps it’s because it doesn’t sound like an album that came out a week ago; Real Friends wear their influences on their sleeves proudly. THIMH sounds like it may have been recorded at any point since 2000 and would have been just as powerful then as it is now.

While there is a definitive improvement in skill and writing throughout the album, there is a sentimentality and respect at points where you can hear an influence from another band (they even name-drop ‘Death Cab’ and ‘Dashboard’, just cuz). “Scared To Be Alone” sounds like it was ripped straight off of The Starting Line’s Direction. The rash guitars rival the harsh melodies that The Wonder Years made famous on The Upsides, but the softer, broodier songs and the heart breaking self-deprecating lyricism remind me of The Early November circa The Room Is Too Cold. On a side note, Real Friends have always reminded me of TEN, but that could just be vocalist Dan Lambton’s shaggy head of hair compared to the curly fro of a young Ace Enders.

Real Friends manage to enthrall the entire record with loud melody. “Stay In One Place” is a seminal opener, catchy on the first listen and an intense rocker to lead the charge. “Empty Picture Frames” is a new staple that begins with subdued power cords before unleashing a torrent of sound during the chorus, backed with soaring, multi-tiered backing vocals. The painfully soft “Mokena” pulls the emotion out of Lambton’s voice, as he shouts, “I’m fucking up and getting over it”.

One of my biggest critiques of earlier Real Friends’ music was that the songs were trying to be ‘sad just to be sad,’ or they seemed somewhat generically emo. That is still true to some degree, as there are still too many references to ‘the past’, or just the word ‘sad’ in general. However, The Home Inside My Head, a metaphor for the lonely comfort you can find in yourself while the outside world eats away at you is much more refined while staying on point. There isn’t a happy ending here, just growth.

Dan Lambton’s vocals are cleaner and more emotive than past work, and it pushes more heart into his lyrics. One constant of Real Friends is that Lambton sings about reflecting on his past, most likely high school, and how happy he used to be compared to now. The Home Inside My Head can be relentlessly harsh like that. On “Stay In One Place,” while hating how a loved one takes out their anger on him, Lambton asks himself, “Can you find your calling if nothing is calling for you?”

“Keep Lying To Me” finds Lambton still wrestling with a failed relationship as he sings, “Last night I closed my eyes and thought about someone that wasn’t you / The weight of the world slipped off my shoulders /…/ I know this isn’t where you want to be / I think I’m better off when I’m alone”.

However, there is a glimmer of hope that begins during “Empty Picture Frames” and sprinkles itself throughout. This might be the only place he finds comfort as he breaks himself down mentally. “The home inside my head has a bed for me / That no one will ever get the chance to see / A kitchen table with one chair, walls with empty picture frames / That no one will ever see”.

Through the cresting waves of depression, self doubt and harsh reflection, lines crop up from time to time that show progress pushing through the darkness, such as “Last year I was a trainwreck, now I’m just a mess” (“Mess”), or “Show me how to be something other than nostalgic / I want to feel inspired and innocent again / I just want to be worth your time” (“Well, I’m Sorry”).

The Home Inside My Head might be the essential playbook on emo for this generation, similar to the way The Get Up Kids’ Something To Write Home About was almost 20 years ago. It is brazenly open, honest and over the top in a way that reminds you why emo became such a force to be reckoned with in the first place. The tip of the hat to other bands seems like a flourish to anyone listening closely, like a musical wink to fans. Real Friends are at the top of their game, and made an album worth the time of anyone who has fallen in love with the genre within the last twenty years.

4.5/5

by Kyle Schultz

kyle_catKyle Schultz is the Senior Editor at It’s All Dead and has worked as a gaming journalist at Structure Gaming. He lives in Chicago and has seen Real Friends live twice. They were good, but he will be singing along to their every word this summer.

Watch New Mayday Parade Video for “One Of Them Will Destroy The Other”

mayday_parade

Just over a month away from the release of their new album, Black Lines, Mayday Parade have released a new music video for the song “One of Them Will Destroy the Other” featuring Dan Lambton of Real Friends. Directed by Caleb Mallery, the video captures the explosive new sound for the band. You can watch the video below:

If you haven’t already, you can pre-order Black Lines at the band’s website.

What do you think of Mayday Parade’s new sound? Let us know your thoughts in the replies!

Posted by Kiel Hauck